Rattikwat is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, pitiless hippopotamus.

Rattikwat created viruses six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rattikwat, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Rattikwat, he will turn you into a worm.

Rattikwat's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Rattikwat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

2. Do not hurt horses.

3. Never talk about voles.

4. You must never eat garlic.

5. Never write about spacetime.