Wattonstanarp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unthoughtful newt.

Wattonstanarp created dark matter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wattonstanarp, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Wattonstanarp, he will come to you in dreams.

Wattonstanarp's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Wattonstanarp's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

5. Never think about nebulae.