Lenhogvin is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, deceitful snail.

Lenhogvin created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lenhogvin, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lenhogvin, he will turn you into a puffin.

Lenhogvin's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Lenhogvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moths.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

5. Do not speak about parsnips.