Ditbinqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, humane naga.

Ditbinqueeg created energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Ditbinqueeg, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ditbinqueeg, she will turn you into a goat.

Ditbinqueeg's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Ditbinqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

2. Retreat if eight sharks approach from the west.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always help sick ducks.

5. Always take life seriously.