Hotladdob Cudpanlagzakkiktagbest is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, generous manatee.

Hotladdob Cudpanlagzakkiktagbest created the planet Saturn five million years ago.

If you believe in Hotladdob Cudpanlagzakkiktagbest, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hotladdob Cudpanlagzakkiktagbest, he will laugh at you.

Hotladdob Cudpanlagzakkiktagbest's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Hotladdob Cudpanlagzakkiktagbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Retreat if nine porpoises approach from the east.

4. Run away if three great tits approach from the south.

5. Never think ill of sick turtles.