Quartfaszak is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, effective donkey.

Quartfaszak created the world eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quartfaszak, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quartfaszak, it will turn you into a frog.

Quartfaszak's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Quartfaszak's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Never feed lots of cucumbers to porpoises while wearing green scarves.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not take Quartfaszak's name in vain.