Affetcap is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, thoughtless warg.

Affetcap created a top quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Affetcap, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Affetcap, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Affetcap's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Affetcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Never feed lots of limes to aardvarks while wearing pink shoes.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not keep six hamsters in a large pit.