Didmidtabgof is a god.

It takes the form of a large, tranquil snail.

Didmidtabgof created a charm quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Didmidtabgof, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Didmidtabgof, it will make you grow a tail.

Didmidtabgof's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Didmidtabgof's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near swans while wearing white tights and balancing seven titanium spheres on your back.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not shave your legs.