Bidlarnzanpad is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, deceitful centaur.

Bidlarnzanpad created the Sun two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidlarnzanpad, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bidlarnzanpad, she will not care.

Bidlarnzanpad's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Bidlarnzanpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing violet tights and balancing four nickel spheres on your face.

2. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always help aardvarks.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Bidlarnzanpad on top of all buildings.