Tailsakcet is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, tiresome hamster.

Tailsakcet created matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tailsakcet, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tailsakcet, it will turn you into a hamster.

Tailsakcet's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Tailsakcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray trousers.

2. Never feed lots of carrots to badgers while wearing blue jumpers.

3. Do not wear black clothing.

4. Tailsakcet loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.