Teen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, two-faced dog.

Teen created the planet Mars seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teen, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Teen, it will turn you into a snail.

Teen's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Teen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Geese are not to be trusted.

3. You must pray to Teen six times a day.

4. Always wear purple.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.