Cetlunvolhas is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, self-confident bee.

Cetlunvolhas created tapeworms six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetlunvolhas, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cetlunvolhas, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Cetlunvolhas' most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Cetlunvolhas' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never laugh near manatees.

4. Never talk about pigs.

5. Turtles are not to be trusted.