Arppadgig is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, narcissistic bee.

Arppadgig created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Arppadgig, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Arppadgig, it will turn you into a goat.

Arppadgig's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Arppadgig's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.