Vinnurlsak is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, moody gorilla.

Vinnurlsak created dark energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vinnurlsak, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vinnurlsak, it will remove you from existence.

Vinnurlsak's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Vinnurlsak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near mice while wearing yellow dresses.

2. Run away from violet swans, for they are unholy.

3. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not drink alcohol.