Hogbest is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-powerful dove.

Hogbest created the Andromeda Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogbest, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hogbest, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Hogbest's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Hogbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt hamsters.

2. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

3. Never go into blue rooms.

4. Always treat pigs with great respect.

5. Do not drink water in brown rooms.