Higtofrutbatxuckgutxucktam is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, happy salamander.

Higtofrutbatxuckgutxucktam created light eight million years ago.

If you believe in Higtofrutbatxuckgutxucktam, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Higtofrutbatxuckgutxucktam, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Higtofrutbatxuckgutxucktam's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Higtofrutbatxuckgutxucktam's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Worship no other gods but Higtofrutbatxuckgutxucktam.

3. Do not take Higtofrutbatxuckgutxucktam's name in vain.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never wear orange boots.