Flowjonkimmon Quimbanxem is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, selfish badger.

Flowjonkimmon Quimbanxem created everything that exists four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flowjonkimmon Quimbanxem, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Flowjonkimmon Quimbanxem, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Flowjonkimmon Quimbanxem's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Flowjonkimmon Quimbanxem's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flowjonkimmon Quimbanxem.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.