Ragsogpak is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, fussy seal.

Ragsogpak created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ragsogpak, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ragsogpak, she will turn you into a duck.

Ragsogpak's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Ragsogpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of manatees.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Ragsogpak must be the most important thing in your life.