Cempibbell is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, tranquil lobster.

Cempibbell created gold nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cempibbell, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cempibbell, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Cempibbell's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Cempibbell's Holy Commandments

1. Cempibbell loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always obey Cempibbell's priests.

4. Never think about spacetime near tapirs while wearing violet scarves and balancing eight titanium spheres on your face.

5. Never eat cucumbers.