Bemmiptif Hatdumhig is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, omniscient shrew.

Bemmiptif Hatdumhig created Europe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemmiptif Hatdumhig, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bemmiptif Hatdumhig, it will cry a lot.

Bemmiptif Hatdumhig's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Bemmiptif Hatdumhig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never think about gravity near frogs while wearing yellow ear rings and balancing three titanium spheres on your neck.

3. Do not wear brown clothing.

4. Snails are not to be trusted.

5. Never write about nebulae.