Bastjincap is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, contented zebra.

Bastjincap created an up quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastjincap, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bastjincap, it will turn you into a rock.

Bastjincap's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Bastjincap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick great tits.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bastjincap.