Yargetrutt is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, flying squirrel.

Yargetrutt created dark energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yargetrutt, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yargetrutt, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yargetrutt's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Yargetrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near tortoises while wearing magenta coats and balancing seven iron spheres on your chest.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always treat swans with great respect.

4. Never wear shoes.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.