Kemhinlim is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, vain alligator.

Kemhinlim created the planet Saturn seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemhinlim, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kemhinlim, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Kemhinlim's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Kemhinlim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

2. Never sprint near whales.

3. Hide if five turtles approach from the south.

4. Put Kemhinlim first in all things.

5. Kemhinlim must be the most important thing in your life.