Barnfossaf is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, quiet snail.

Barnfossaf created a photon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnfossaf, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Barnfossaf, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Barnfossaf's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Barnfossaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Never paint your face gray.

3. Never mention turtles.

4. Barnfossaf must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Pray towards the west.