Tonkortham Yartgessyog is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, effective eagle.

Tonkortham Yartgessyog created the Andromeda Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Tonkortham Yartgessyog, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tonkortham Yartgessyog, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tonkortham Yartgessyog's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Tonkortham Yartgessyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

2. Do not hurt foxes.

3. Do not wear gray clothing.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Worship no other gods but Tonkortham Yartgessyog.