Nurtjiphom is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthoughtful squirrel.

Nurtjiphom created carbon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtjiphom, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Nurtjiphom, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nurtjiphom's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Nurtjiphom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never hop in holy places.

3. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

4. Nurtjiphom loves geese, so they must be honoured.

5. Never wear indigo scarves.