Metzodmabpog is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, benevolent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Metzodmabpog created humankind five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metzodmabpog, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Metzodmabpog, she will cry a lot.

Metzodmabpog's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Metzodmabpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not dye your hair fawn.