Kikflowomin is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, merciful swallow.

Kikflowomin created the universe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Kikflowomin, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kikflowomin, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Kikflowomin's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Kikflowomin's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green tapirs for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink water in red rooms.

3. Do not hurt rats.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kikflowomin.

5. Do not make images of living things.