Xemgetfag is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, tranquil dolphin.

Xemgetfag created the planet Saturn five billion years ago.

If you believe in Xemgetfag, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Xemgetfag, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Xemgetfag's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Xemgetfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Xemgetfag loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

3. Never write about spacetime.

4. Always help voles.

5. Do not drink water in violet rooms.