Yamhomtarp is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, idiotic monkey.

Yamhomtarp created everything that exists nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yamhomtarp, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yamhomtarp, it will try to impress you with trees.

Yamhomtarp's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Yamhomtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not speak about cherries.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not chop down trees.