Nurlkabwap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, humorless wyrm.

Nurlkabwap created the solar system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlkabwap, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nurlkabwap, it will turn you into a tree.

Nurlkabwap's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Nurlkabwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Never talk about dark matter.

4. Do not speak about bread.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.