Tafgudpanrill is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, ruthless weasel.

Tafgudpanrill created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Tafgudpanrill, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tafgudpanrill, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Tafgudpanrill's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Tafgudpanrill's Holy Commandments

1. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.