Banrillkab is a god.

It takes the form of a large, thoughtless giraffe.

Banrillkab created the planet Jupiter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Banrillkab, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Banrillkab, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Banrillkab's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Banrillkab's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five moths approach from the north.

2. Feed all hungry ants.

3. Never feed lentils to gulls while wearing orange boots.

4. Do not wear lead on your body.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.