Yamkadcep is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, contented zebra.

Yamkadcep created snails two years ago.

If you believe in Yamkadcep, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yamkadcep, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yamkadcep's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Yamkadcep's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. You must pray to Yamkadcep three times a day.

3. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Yamkadcep in the centre of the settlement.

4. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Yamkadcep in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.