Dimyogzag is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, kind clam.

Dimyogzag created oxygen six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimyogzag, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dimyogzag, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Dimyogzag's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Dimyogzag's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Dimyogzag.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never feed wheat to frogs while wearing pink shirts.