Wabbugjab is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, self-confident clam.

Wabbugjab created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabbugjab, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wabbugjab, she will jump up and down on your head.

Wabbugjab's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Wabbugjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Never talk about optics.

4. Never wear rings.

5. Always pray immersed in water.