Bapyattgab is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, strong wombat.

Bapyattgab created light four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapyattgab, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bapyattgab, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bapyattgab's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Bapyattgab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help foxes in need.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Hide if five aardvarks approach from the south.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not cook food in pots.