Fotcissmigvab is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, kind dryad.

Fotcissmigvab created an electron nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fotcissmigvab, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fotcissmigvab, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Fotcissmigvab's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Fotcissmigvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near rats while wearing red stockings.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Do not kill tortoises.

4. Never wear indigo skirts.

5. You must never eat cherries.