Hintanbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, awesome butterfly.

Hintanbonk created snails eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hintanbonk, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Hintanbonk, he will try to impress you with trees.

Hintanbonk's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Hintanbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat turtles with great respect.

2. Do not wear copper on your body.

3. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never think about dark energy near rats while wearing blue rings and balancing five nickel spheres on your neck.

5. Respect your elders.