Sagbatnart is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, fussy clam.

Sagbatnart created the cosmos three million years ago.

If you believe in Sagbatnart, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sagbatnart, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Sagbatnart's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Sagbatnart's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine whales approach from the west.

2. Never paint your legs indigo.

3. Erect three gold sculptures of Sagbatnart on top of important buildings.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Respect your elders.