Bafponpas is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, tranquil swallow.

Bafponpas created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bafponpas, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bafponpas, it will have a low opinion of you.

Bafponpas' most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bafponpas' Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bafponpas.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near cats while wearing black skirts and balancing eight titanium spheres on your head.

4. Do not drink water in green rooms.

5. Always treat shrews with great respect.