Zigbomtailspagveddon Sagyogfon is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, merciful mongoose.

Zigbomtailspagveddon Sagyogfon created the Virgo Supercluster three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigbomtailspagveddon Sagyogfon, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zigbomtailspagveddon Sagyogfon, he will turn you into a hamster.

Zigbomtailspagveddon Sagyogfon's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Zigbomtailspagveddon Sagyogfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ultrasonics near shrews while wearing turquoise shoes and balancing three aluminium spheres on your neck.

2. Retreat if four pigs approach from the north.

3. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Zigbomtailspagveddon Sagyogfon in the centre of the settlement.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. You must never eat melons.