Zogarfyim Sitnarlxuck is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, humorless clam.

Zogarfyim Sitnarlxuck created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogarfyim Sitnarlxuck, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zogarfyim Sitnarlxuck, he will send you a sign.

Zogarfyim Sitnarlxuck's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Zogarfyim Sitnarlxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant near whales.

2. Do not dye your hair cyan.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

4. Zogarfyim Sitnarlxuck loves bats, so they must be honoured.

5. Always obey Zogarfyim Sitnarlxuck's priests.