Pakcarrill is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, smart octopus.

Pakcarrill created light eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Pakcarrill, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Pakcarrill, he will come to you in dreams.

Pakcarrill's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Pakcarrill's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention snails.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pakcarrill.

4. Never wear white shirts.

5. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.