Tarpontweg is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, astonishing bee.

Tarpontweg created the Sombrero Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpontweg, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tarpontweg, he will not invite you to parties.

Tarpontweg's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Tarpontweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention frogs.

2. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.

3. Never eat spinach.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never talk about fire.