Dobgovteen is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, awesome crab.

Dobgovteen created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dobgovteen, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dobgovteen, it will refuse to believe in you.

Dobgovteen's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Dobgovteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peas.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. You must never eat oranges.

5. Pray towards the west.