Camtabfut Flisgunkem is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, stupid scorpion.

Camtabfut Flisgunkem created viruses four years ago.

If you believe in Camtabfut Flisgunkem, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Camtabfut Flisgunkem, he will come to you in dreams.

Camtabfut Flisgunkem's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Camtabfut Flisgunkem's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three tapirs approach from the east.

2. Always help turtles in need.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

5. Never wear trousers.