Barndobbog Jiplanduss Gatlegvag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, impressive aardvark.

Barndobbog Jiplanduss Gatlegvag created the planet Mars eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barndobbog Jiplanduss Gatlegvag, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Barndobbog Jiplanduss Gatlegvag, he will turn you into a sheep.

Barndobbog Jiplanduss Gatlegvag's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Barndobbog Jiplanduss Gatlegvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Barndobbog Jiplanduss Gatlegvag in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not kill great tits.

5. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.