Danfunstipbissbamrakquam Somnartont is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, selfish scorpion.

Danfunstipbissbamrakquam Somnartont created the Whirlpool Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Danfunstipbissbamrakquam Somnartont, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Danfunstipbissbamrakquam Somnartont, he will throw large rocks at you.

Danfunstipbissbamrakquam Somnartont's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Danfunstipbissbamrakquam Somnartont's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Danfunstipbissbamrakquam Somnartont.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.