Farnlimsom is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, clever sheep.

Farnlimsom created the world three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnlimsom, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Farnlimsom, she will refuse to believe in you.

Farnlimsom's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Farnlimsom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.